CHAPTER X

THE CONQUERING HERO’S PUBLIC ENTRY

APTAIN DOLEFUL, leaving his charger in the care of a porter, now offered Mrs. Jorrocks his arm, and walked her off to the station-house, followed by Jorrocks and Belinda amid the observations and inquiries of the numerous party ranged outside the barrier. The ladies being now left to arrange their toilettes, Jorrocks and Doleful joined arms in a most friendly manner, and strutted back to see about unloading the horses, the sack-like figure of the one contrasting with the thin, lathy, mountebank appearance of the other. This being accomplished, Ben proceeded to strip off his dirty white great coat, and display his fine new sky-blue postilion jacket, patent cords and top-boots, while Jorrocks began expatiating to Doleful on the merits of the animals.

“This ’ere ’oss,” says he, rubbing his hand up and down the Roman nose of a great rat-tailed brown, “I’ve ridden many seasons, and he’s never given me but one fall, and that was more my fault than his. Indeed I may say it was mine entirely. ’Ow’s this country off for foxes! Well, you see, I was chiveyin’ this ’ere ’oss along like wildfire, for it was a most special fine scentin’ day—breast-high all the way—and Tom Hills, that’s our ’untsman, was riding wiciously wenomus—by the way that reminds me can you commend me to an honest man to buy my forage of? Well, we blazed down Windy Hill, and past Stormey Wood, just as though it were as level as this rally, when Joe Crane, thinking to gain a nick, turned for Nosterly, and Tom and I rode slap for Guilsborough, where he threw a shoe, and I was left alone in my glory. I know’d the country well, and sinkin’ the hill, stole down Muddiford Lane, with the pack goin’ like beans on my left, with only two men within a mile of them, barrin’ a miller with his sacks, who rode uncommon galvanizingly.

“Well, thinks I to myself, if they turn by Gatton steep I’ll have a nick, for though this ’oss was never reglarly pumped out, yet times are when he’d be better of a little more wind, and so as I rode along peeping over the ’edge, ’oping every minute to see old Barbican, who was leading the pack that day, give a bend to my side, ven vot should occur but a gipsy camp half across the lane, and three donkeys, two jacks and a jinney, huddled together in the other part so as to make a regular barrier, and, by the by, have you read Digby Grand? Grand book it is; but, however, never mind that at present; well, we were close upon the camp and donkeys afore ever we saw them, for it was just at that sharp turn of the road where the waterin’ trough is—confound them, they always place pikes and troughs in the hawkwardest places—and this ’oss though with all his eyes about him, was so heager lookin’ for the ’ounds, that I’m dashed if he didn’t come upon them so suddenly that he hadn’t time to change his leg or do no thing, consequentially he dodged first among the gipsy bairns, putting his foot through a sarcepan the old father gipsy was a mendin’, and then, fearin’ mischief, he flew to the left, and cast me right on to the old jinney hass’s back, who, risin’ at the moment, finished the business by kickin’ me off into the dirtiest heap of composition for turnips I ever smelt in my life—haw, haw, haw! I really think I wind it now. Still the ’oss is a good un—an undeniable good un. When he carries me well, I ax’s three ’undred for him, at other times I’d take thirty. I never grudges money for ’osses. Des-say if all the money I’ve spent first and last were equally distributed among them, they wouldn’t stand me i’ less nor forty pund apiece.

“This too’s a grand nag!” continued he, taking hold of the ear of a stiff bay with white hind legs, and a bang tail—“good at everything—rides, drives, ’unts, and carries a ’ooman. I call him Xerxes, ’cause as how ven I drives two, as I’m a doin’ to-day, he goes leader, and in-course the brown, which I calls Arter-Xerxes, comes arter him! Both go like the vind—good ’osses! uncommon good! rough and strong as our four shillin’ tea.—Binjamin, mind the traces,—and now be after puttin’ to, your Missis will be ready by the time we get all square;” and thereupon Mr. Jorrocks began fussing and busying himself with the horses and harness, and very soon had Xerxes and Arter-Xerxes in their proper places, “tandem fashion.” The carriage was an old, low, open, double-bodied one, with red and black wheels, looking as much like a fire-engine as anything else, especially with the Westphalia hams and warming-pan swinging from the bottom like buckets. It held four comfortably, or five on a pinch, and the inmates were Mr. Jorrocks and his wife, Belinda and Betsey. It was tremendously stuffed and hung about with luggage, and at the back was attached a most sporting package, consisting of two saddles done up in horse-sheeting; and through the roller which fastened them to the carriage, two stout hunting-whips and a new brass horn were thrust. All things being ready, Mr. Jorrocks gave Benjamin a “leg up” on to Xerxes, and gathering up the reins of his wheeler in a most workmanlike manner, stepped into the vehicle, and preceded by Captain Doleful on the white charger, drove up to the station-house door, to the infinite delight of all the spectators outside the rails, amid the puffings, scrapings, and tootlings, of the musicians, the pointing of children, the unfurling of flags, and general movement of the meeting.

Mrs. Jorrocks and Belinda had improved the few minutes in the station-house, and with the aid of Betsey and a looking-glass had rectified the little disorders of the journey. Having cast her sea-green wrapper, Mrs. Jorrocks shone forth in a superb scarlet brocade pelisse, so bright and dazzling that even in Great Coram Street, or St. Pancras Church, it acted as a loadstone on the eyes of the beholders, and now in the quiet country was almost overpowering. She looked like a full-blown peony.

Belinda, the young, the fair, the beautiful Belinda, was the picture of innocence and health. Her large lustrous blue eyes, with their long silken lashes, shone “sweetly lambent” from beneath a drab silk drawn bonnet lined with blue, across which a rich black veil was thrown; a smile hovered round her ruby lips, disclosing the beautiful regularity of her pearly teeth; while the late rapid movement through the air, joined with the warmth of the station-house, and the excitement of the scene, had imparted a slight flush to a delicate, but beautifully clear complexion. Her shining brown hair, drawn across her forehead in the Madonna style, was confined with a narrow band of blue velvet, while a rich well-fitting drab silk pelisse displayed the symmetry of her exquisitely rounded figure. Her beautifully-formed feet were enclosed in well-fitting patent leather shoes, whose ties embraced well-turned ankles encased in well-drawn up, white gauze silk stockings.

The station-house and buildings concealing our party from view, Mr. Jorrocks had time to make those comfortable dispositions of the persons of his suite as are always desirable in public processions, but which are sometimes driven out of the heads even of the most experienced paraders, by the inquisitive observations of many hundred eyes. He now took Belinda upon the draw-out seat between himself and Mrs. Jorrocks, while Betsey bundled in behind, among Dundee marmalade, sugar-loaves, Copenhagen cherry-brandy, and other things. Having given a knowing cast over his left shoulder, to see that she was right, Mr. Jorrocks cried out, “Now, Binjimin, follow the Captain,” and giving Arter-Xerxes a touch with the point of the whip, passed from the screen formed by the station-house, to the folding iron gates at the side, which being thrown open at the approach of the Captain, they made a splendid turn off the railway line into the crowed space outside. “Huzza! huzza! huzza! huzza! huzza! huzza!” exclaimed a hundred voices; “Huzza! huzza!” responded a hundred more, amid the roll of drums, the puffing of the horns, the flapping of the flags, and the waving of handkerchiefs, from those whose aristocratic ideas precluded the expression of clamorous applause. Doleful stopped Benjamin on the leader, and Mr. Jorrocks pulling short up, stood erect in the vehicle, and taking off his low-crowned hat, bowed and waved it repeatedly to the company, while Mrs. Jorrocks acknowledged the compliment by frequent kisses of her hand, and Belinda’s face became suffused with blushes at the publicity and novelty of her situation.—Having sufficiently exercised their lungs, hats began to rest upon their owners’ heads, handkerchiefs were returned to their pockets, and amid a general buzz and exclamation of applause, a rush was made at the carriage to get a closer view of Belinda.

“By Jove, what a beautiful girl!” exclaimed Captain Parkins (a new-comer) to his friend, Mr. Dyneley, eyeing Belinda through his glass.

“Did you ever see such eyes?” inquired a second.

“Handsomest creature I ever beheld! Fine undulating figure!” observed a third.

“What a quiz the old girl is!” remarked another.

“Is she her daughter?” inquired a third of Captain Doleful, who was busy marshalling the procession.

“Lots of money I suppose!” said another.

“He looks like a rich fellow, with that queer-looking hat of his.”

“The servant girl’s not bad-looking.”

“Miss for my money,” said another, “I’m in love with her already.”

“I wish she’d stand up and let’s see her size.”

“I lay a guinea she’s a clipper.”

“There’s a hand! I’ll be bound for it she has a good foot and ankle. None of your hairy-heel’d ones.”

“He looks like a jolly old dog,” observed another. “We shall have lots of good dinners, I dare say.”

Doleful’s face wrinkled into half its usual size with delight, for he plainly saw he had made a hit; and most fortunate were those men who had cultivated his friendship through the medium of the subscription books at the libraries, for the two-guinea subcribers were immediately presented to the trio, while the guinea men were let in at intervals as the procession moved along the road. Nor should we omit to mention, for the instruction of all other M.C.’s, that thirteen new names were put down that evening, so that Doleful’s prospects were brighter than ever.

The first burst of applause having subsided, the party got settled into the order of the day, as laid down in the programme of the worthy M.C. First went the proprietary school children, eighty boys and a hundred and nine girls, three a-breast, with sundry pocket-handkerchief banners. Next came the “Fox and Floreat Scientia” flag, on double poles so as to stretch across the road; the musicians, two drummers, two horn-blowers, two fiddlers, and a fifer, were planted behind it; after which came three glazed calico flags, of various colours in stripes, followed by Whackem’s mathematical seminary, and the rabble at large. Then came another large double flag, in broad stripes of scarlet and white, with the words “Jorrocks for ever!” done in blue letters; Doleful’s own place was immediately after this, but of course, during the progress to Handley Cross, he kept alongside the carriage of the distinguished strangers. The flys, gigs, ponies, donkeys, chaises, &c., followed on in a long-drawn line, just as they could jostle in, for the Captain knew the high hedges on each side of the narrow road would do more towards keeping them in order than all the injunctions and remonstrances he could lay down or use.

Mrs. Jorrocks was delighted!—Never before did she think anything either of hunting or her husband, but now the former seemed a most delightful amusement, and Jorrocks appeared a perfect hero. He too was charmed with his reception, and grinned and nudged Belinda with his elbow, and cast a sly wink over his shoulder at Betsey, as they jumbled along the road, and the compliments of the crowd came showering among them. Then he turned his eyes up to heaven as if lost in reflection and bewilderment at the honour he had arrived at. Anon he caught the point of his whip and dropped it scientifically along Arter-Xerxes’ side, then he began to whistle, when Captain Doleful having resigned the side of the carriage on which Mrs. Jorrocks was sitting to Captain Parkins, came round to say a few nothings to our worthy friend.

“Well, Miserrimus,” said Jorrocks, opening the conversation as though he had known him all his life, “you see I’m down upon you, as the extinguisher said to the rushlight—always say you carn’t be too quick in catchin’ a flea.—’Ow’s the Nabob?”

“Middling, thank you,” again replied the Captain,—“you’re looking uncommonly well, I’m sure,” said he, eyeing Mr. Jorrocks as he spoke.

“Oh, me!” replied Jorrocks, “bless you, I’m never bad—never ’cept I gets a drop too much, as will happen in the best reglated families, you know, Miserrimus.” Whereupon Mr. Jorrocks, with a knowing grin, gave Doleful a dig in the ribs with the butt-end of his whip—saying, “have you got any of that ‘cold roast’ you told me of in your letter?”

“Why, no, Mr. Jorrocks, it’s all gone, but there’s plenty more in Handley Cross. It’s the best place for beef I know.—Indeed for everything.”

“You’ll be desperation fond of ’untin’, I s’pose,” observed Mr. Jorrocks, after a slight pause, flourishing his whip over his head, and giving a knowing look at Doleful’s accoutrements.

“It’s the only thing worth living for in my mind,” replied Captain Doleful.

“By jingo! so say I,” rejoined Mr. Jorrocks; “all time’s lost that’s not spent in ’untin’.—Give us your hand, Miserrimus, my bouy, for you must be a trump—a man after my own ’eart!” and thereupon Jorrocks gave him such a shaking as nearly sent him off his horse.

“That’ll be your kiver ’ack, I presume,” observed Mr. Jorrocks after their hands were released, as he cast an eye at the white. “He goes hup and down like a yard and a ’alf of pump water.”

Doleful did not know whether this was meant as a compliment or otherwise, so he “grinned horridly a ghastly smile,” and asked Mr. Jorrocks if he was fond of music. “Music!” said Mr. Jorrocks, “yes, the music of the ’ounds—none o’ your tamboureenin’ work. Give me the real ough, ough, ough, of a fine deep-toned ’ound in the depths of a rocky dell, as he drags up to old Reynard among the brushwood,” and as he spoke, Mr. Jorrocks snuffed the air and threw his head about as though he were feeling for a scent himself,—“What sort of fencin’ have you?”

“Fencing!” repeated Captain Doleful thoughtfully—“fencing, why we’ve had none, I think, since the theatre closed.”

“Humph!” mused Mr. Jorrocks, “that’s queer—never knew a play-actor in my life with the slightest turn for ’untin’.”

The foremost in the procession having now reached the outskirts of the town, a halt was made to allow the pedestrians to knock the dust off their shoes, and get their voices ready for shouting. Doleful rode along the line exhorting them to order and regularity, and directing the streets through which the procession should pass, taking particular care to keep wide of the Barningtons. A considerable accession was here made to their strength by numerous groups of ladies and gentlemen, who, attracted by the fineness of the day, and a little natural curiosity, had wandered out to see what sort of an animal a Cockney master of hounds was. Miss Prim and Miss Prosey’s seminaries too turned out in their pink and blue ginghams, and came up just at the period of the halt,—all the grooms and helpers of the town who could not get to the station now flocked to swell the throng. The hubbub and confusion was excessive, and they pushed and elbowed, and fought to get near the carriage to have a close view of Mr. Jorrocks. “My eyes, but he’s a fat un!” exclaimed Mr. Brisket, the butcher, to his foreman, “it would be a downright credit to a butcher to supply such a gent.: can’t be less nor three inches o’ fat on his rib;” whereupon he thrust a card into Mr. Jorrocks’ hand, containing his name, trade, and place of abode. This was a signal for the rest, and immediately a shoal of cards were tendered from persons of all callings and professions. Lucy Sandey would mangle, wash, and clear-starch; then Hannah Pye kept the best potatoes and green-groceries in general; Tom Hardy supplied milk at all hours; George Dodd let donkeys by the day or hour; Samuel Mason offered the card of the Bramber livery stables, where there was a lock-up coach-house; Susan Muddle hoped the ladies would drink with her at the Spa at a shilling a week, and glass found. Then there was a wine-merchant’s card, followed by lodging-house keepers’ without end, and a chimney-sweep’s.

All in advance being now ready, Captain Doleful came grinning and capering through the crowd, and announced to the ladies that they were about to enter the town, and informed Mr. Jorrocks that they would first of all proceed to the Dragon Hotel, from the balcony of which it would have a good effect if he would address the meeting. Without waiting for Mr. Jorrocks’ assurance that he “didn’t know what to say,” he placed himself in advance of Benjamin, and raised his hunting-whip as a signal to the musicians, who immediately struck up “See the conquering hero comes,” and the cavalcade proceeded. The boom of the drums, the twang of the horns, and the shouts of the children brought every human being to the doors, windows, and verandahs, and there was such running, and rushing, and fighting to see the conquering hero, and such laughing among the servant maids at the ample dimensions of his shoulders, with as many observations upon his retinue, as would fill a chapter of themselves.

After passing the long line of villas that stud the road in the Mount Sion direction, the cavalcade turned into Arthur Street, where the noise and bustle increased tenfold. Shop lads, no longer to be restrained, rushed out in defiance of their masters’ halloas, some hastily putting up the shutters, others leaving the shops to take care of themselves. Bazaars, fancy shops, jewellers’, &c., were drawn of both buyers and sellers; and as the “Floreat Scientia” banner rounded the turn into High Street, an advancing mob from the other end of the town charged with such vigour as sent both poles through Stevenson the hatter’s window, damaging a dozen pasteboard boxes, being the principal part of his stock in trade. Nothing was heard above the clamour but the boom of the drums, and the occasional twang of a horn, while Captain Doleful’s red coat, and his horse’s bowing white head, seemed borne upon the shoulders of the multitude. Thus they proceeded in stately array down High Street, and neared the Dragon Hotel.

At length they got the carriage up to the arched door, and the party alighted amid a tremendous burst of applause. Captain Doleful having tendered his arm to Mrs. Jorrocks, Belinda took her uncle’s, and no sooner did Betsey get out of the back seat of the carriage than a whole host of little dirty boys scrambled in to obtain a better view, making desperate havoc among the Dundee marmalade and Copenhagen cherry-brandy, to the infinite indignation of Benjamin, who roared lustily from the leader that he would “’oss-vip ’em” all round.