CHAPTER XIX

HUNTSMAN WANTED

WANTED IMMEDIATELY, for the HANDLEY CROSS FOX-HOUNDS, a strong, active, bold, enterprising young man, in the above capacity. He must be desperately fond of hunting, and indefatigable in the pursuit of it. He must be shrewd, sensible, good-tempered, and sober; exact, civil, and cleanly; a good horseman and a good groom; his voice must be strong, clear, and musical; and his eye so quick, as to perceive which of his hounds carries the scent when all are running; and he must have so excellent an ear as always to distinguish the foremost hounds when he does not see them. He must be quiet, patient, and without an atom of conceit. Address (post paid), stating full particulars as to age, size, weight, previous service, &c., to M.F.H. John Jorrocks, Diana Lodge, Handley Cross Spa.

Such was the special advertisement that our friend Mr. Jorrocks, with the aid of the editor, drew up for insertion in that gossiping publication the “Handley Cross Paul Pry,” from whence it was copied into the “Post,” and the London sporting papers generally, producing an immense sensation in the world of servitude.

People whose establishments are regulated with such regard to laziness, that John knows whether it is his business to brush his master’s hat, or James’s, can have little idea how those in middle life get served at all, or yet the sort of servants that offer themselves for any situation that may be vacant.

Thus, great Herculean ploughmen will offer themselves as postillions, and failing that, will consider themselves equally fit for butlers; while fellows that have never been in a stable, will undertake the charge of horses and carriages, and drive if required.

The above striking advertisement soon caused Diana Lodge to be besieged by all the idle, dog-stealing raffs in the country—flash, slangey-looking scamps in long waistcoats, greasy livery coats with covered buttons, baggy breeches, and square-toed gaiters, buttoning in front of the knee. They all spoke in the highest terms of themselves, and though none of them had ever hunted, they all thought they’d “like it,” and one had actually got so far in a hunting establishment, as to have been what he called second pad groom—viz., a helper at twelve shillings a week. The following sample will show the general character of the correspondence.

“Edgebaston.

“Sir,

“I am in whant of a situation, Seeing your advertsment in the Life papey If a greeable to you it whould sute me verrey well I have not been in survice be fore I have been A Horse Dealer for my self and with my Father But I have no doubt that I am compident to take the situation for I been used to hunting all my life and have rode in sum of the furst Steeple Chases in the country I can refure you to John Cock’s Esq. Cocks’ Hall, near Beccles. I have been yoused to hunt with many fine hounds—Stag Hounds, Beagles, and all, and know all about them. I am maried but no famley, onley my self and wife. I am 28 years of age 10 stone wight But as for wage I shall leave for you to state if every other thing meets your approbation I have a friend that is Butler with Captain Boxer, at Bath, you can right to him if you think proper As E knows my self and famely,

“Warminster.

“Sir,

“On hearing you want a huntsman, I take the liberty of writing to enquire after the place I thoroly understand my business either as groom or coachman and have been accustomed with hounds I live at present with John Jones Esq. at Warminster as groom and gardner where I leave on Thursday first if you want a servant I shall be glad to serve you as I am a married man.

“Dear Sir,

“I take the liberty of writing those Few Lines to you Hereing that you are In Want of A Servant And I Am in Want of A Situation If you Have No Objections And I have Been in the Racing Stables Seven Years And My Age is 23 And Stands About 65 foot 6½ And My Wages Will be 30£ A Year And If you thought I Should Suit You Direct to Mark Spraggon, North-fleet And for My Caracter Inquire of Major Barns of Horton Hall Near York And My Weight is A bout 9 stone. I am disengaged in the woman way.

“Sir,

“I saw in your advertisement wanted, a single young man as huntsman with a tow days a-week pack of hounds, I should like to know what the celery will be, as I think I could fulfill this situation very well, my weight is 9½ stones, Please to write with return of Post about the Celery and where the situation is, You will much Oblige

“Mr. Jorrocks, M.F.H.”

“Sir,

“I write these few lines to inform you that I have seen in the Field paper that you are in want of a young man as huntsman to your hounds and I have sent these few lines to say I am a marred man and has a family but I cannot move my Wife for 4 years to come for I have 8 Boys at trade and they get their meat and lodge at home so if you do not get one to suet you I should be happy to wait on you if you think that I will suet you I have been with boath fox Hounds and Harriers to take care of them in the Kennels and Hunting them in the field and I can Groom my own Horses to which I like to take Car of my own Horses allways as for my Age is 52 years and my Weight is 9 stone and has been 5 years in my last sittuation but I do not wish to give you the trouble to write back if you get one to suet you for I can be at liberty in a Week’s Notice, so if you think I will suet you my wages is one Pound per Week and meat in the House likewise, and Close to hunt in so I remain

Finding the applications by letter becoming numerous, Mr. Jorrocks soon discontinued answering those which he did not think held out any prospect of suiting, but the following from the well-known Dick Bragg roused his bile into the answer that succeeds:—

“Dear Sir,

“Seeing that you are in wants of an energetic gent to hunt your hounds, I beg to represent my qualifications for the appointment. I’ve held office Sir in some first rate administrations, yes Sir, in some first rate administrations Sir; my Lord Reynards Sir of Turkeypont Park Sir, the Duke of Downeybird of Downeybird Castle Sir, but my precious health not being quite adequate to the mental exertion and bodily fatigue consequent on a four or five days a week establishment, I have determined to sink the dignities of life a little in favor of Peace and quietness and should have no objection to negotiate an alliance with you for the management of your hounds and country.

“One thing I should stipulate at starting, namely, that if we do not agree, you will have the kindness not mention this application as it would cause me to lose caste in the rank of life in which I have heretofore moved.

“That, I feel assured from your high merchantile reputation I may rely upon—Yes Sir, I feel assured from your high merchantile reputation I may rely upon—To proceed then—In course you would allow me to appoint my own whips, an arrangement that I have always found to be most inducive to sport, for none but a huntsman knows whether his whips play properly into his hands or not, and there is nothing like having the power to turn them off for making them to do as they ought. I don’t hold with Beckford that a first whip should be a second huntsman. No Sir, no—I say, a whipper-in can be made, but a huntsman’s talent must be born with him—I should basely dissemble if I hesitated to declare that in sporting science my abilities shall yield to none. I will hunt a fox with any man—with the great Lord Elcho himself!

“To descend to particulars however; perhaps you’ll allow me to ask what your salary is—also what the draft hounds may be worth yearly per annum, and what you think the vails will come to—Also if I shall be allowed a boy to brush my clothes and clean my boots, as I shouldn’t like to have any dirty work to do—A line to the Corner will find me, and hoping to establish a mutually advantageous connection, I beg to subscribe myself

“P.S.—‘Quick’ should be the word, as such a chance doesn’t offer every day.

Jorrocks was desperately angry when he got this. He grinned with rage when he read it, to think that any one should think he was such a fool as to be taken in by it. At first he was for writing Dick a stiff “M.F.H. John Jorrocks presents his compliments” note, but thinking that would not be sufficient relief to his mind, he turned his attention to an abusive letter calling Dick all sorts of conceited cock-tail humbugs, which he sprawled over a sheet of foolscap with his great round school-boy hand, when it occurred to him that the banter tack would be more telling and mortifying, so after a good deal of consideration he concocted the following:—

“Sir,

“I am werry much obliged by your purlite communication, and much regret that it did not come a little sooner, as I thinks you seem jest the sort of man—I beg pardon—gentleman I want.—I doesn’t care a dump about money further nor as it enables one to pursue the pleasures o’ the chace, and if you’d shown us the first chop sport you propose, I’d he given you sich a kick at Christmas as would have sent you right hup into the first class carriage of service, and I makes no doubt my example would have been followed by all the generously disposed cocks of my ’unt. Unfortunately the appointment is filled up, though perhaps £100 a-year, and perquisites by fair means or foul—which in course I winks at, to the tune of £50 more—might not have been worth your consideration, though Christmas presents would make the salary up good £200 a-year. I does all the dirty work myself, and you might have worn wite kids on non-’unting days.

“Here’s a cove vants you,” said Benjamin, as he brought in a candle to seal the foregoing.

“Vants me,” repeated Mr. Jorrocks, “who can it be?”

Benjamin.—“Don’t know—von’t tell me—says his name’s Pigg—comes from the north—Scotland, I should think by his tongue.”

Mr. Jorrocks.—“Pigg—humph—Scotland—humph— Shouldn’t wonder if he’s one of these place-’unting coves —the town’s full of them.—Never saw an advertisement work so.—There,” continued he, as he finished sealing the letter, “take that to the Post, and mind you don’t pick the ’ead off; and here, Binjimin,” continued Jorrocks, “send the Pigg in!”

“Yez-ir,” said Benjamin, taking his departure.